I waited tables for 12 years so as you can imagine, I’ve heard of every dietary restriction under the sun. It wasn’t until I moved to LA that the “gluten free” movement began.
Don’t get me wrong! If you have Celiac disease, Crohn’s or a sensitive stomach, I am sympathetic to your pain. I’m ranting about the people that suddenly claim to have a gluten allergy but have zero issues with the pizza they’ll order hungover. It’s a trend and annoying one at that. They drink Ciroc because “regular vodka” is made from wheat or rye (insert eye roll). Y’all….! Vodka is distilled so many effing times, your fake gluten allergy will not be effected. Your stupid side salad with creamy dressing is PROBABLY NOT gluten free. Just be honest and say you prefer to drink your calories via a bottle of Chardonnay. YOU HAVE A FAKE ALLERGY because the hot girl in your pilates class does.
Gluten free, wannabe vegan, vegetarians who eat fish, and no-carb diets make my brain explode. Gluten free trendies are like cross fit people. How do you know they’re gluten free? THEY WILL TELL YOU. THEY WILL TELL YOU 400 TIMES. The best part is that 99% of this population have no CLUE what gluten actually is.
Jimmy Kimmel, thank you for this an amazing bit: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AdJFE1sp4Fw
Gluten is a general name for the proteins found in wheat (wheatberries, durum, emmer, semolina, spelt, farina, farro, graham, KAMUT® khorasan wheat and einkorn), rye, barley and triticale – a cross between wheat and rye. Gluten helps foods maintain their shape, acting as a glue that holds food together. (Read more at https://celiac.org/live-gluten-free/glutenfreediet/what-is-gluten/#FA5CR7ZCiDxrkIHB.99)
Maybe this is a Los Angeles thing? Either way, your fake gluten allergy and the gluten free movement is SO 2015. Want a new trend? Be a #Vegiholic. It’s super hot for 2017.